Sunday, October 14, 2012

Stress

I'm just ready for this semester to be over. My body is wearing down from it all...or well, I think it's from school. I've had headaches almost daily for the past week, my stomach is going crazy, I can't figure out my sleep schedule (I feel like I'm constantly sleep too much or too little), and I'm just ready to be able to be NORMAL again.

I know this isn't going to happen for awhile. On the plus side, after Friday, 3 of my classes are done except for on-campus labs and finals. I'll have 2 lecture classes and a lab class left for ~1 month. I'm going to love having time to work out, clean, and cook again. I'm not going to lie, I can't remember the last time I vacuumed, the last time I personally cooked something from scratch (I don't consider freezer meals that I put on the skillet to be cooking), or the last time I had a real workout where I was drenched in sweat and felt relieved afterward.

I've just been...excessively stressed the past month or so. I try to keep my relationship off of here, but it's a definite roller coaster. I also try to keep specifics about work away from here, but it's reached the point to where I'm wanting to change my schedule drastically to a schedule that really DOES NOT WORK for me to avoid certain situations or even just quitting because management can't seem to really help me out. I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to have a 4.0, work 40 hours a week, look great, eat well, have a cozy apartment, put together good meals, but...I'm breaking down.

Surprisingly, as I'm writing this, I'm nearly ahead for this week ahead, which I've normally been down a few lectures going into each week. I'm figuring out what I'm wanting to do next, what I want to get ahead in, and I'm thinking I might just finish up my body fluids stuff and call it good.

I'm hoping to make this website more useful again in the future, but right now I'm using it as a mini-outlet.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Updatin'

Life has been HEC-TIC y'all.

And I'm not going to lie...I have kind of fallen off the bandwagon, so to speak. And I feel hypocritical trying to be all "GET LOTS OF SLEEP AND WORKOUT AND EAT HEALTHY" when I'm not even doing that.

So, I'm just going to be honest.

I've essentially quit working out. I still am walking for hours a day at work, depending on how busy it is and what I'm doing, sometimes I literally don't stop walking at a fast pace (as fast as I can walk before I break into a job) for 4 hours. I have not been doing Insanity anymore. I DID like how I was looking, and I haven't really "worked out" in about 3 weeks and I have noticed some negative changes. I do want to finish the program, but it's going to be at a much more decelerated rate. For me to do one of those workouts, I need to have a good 2 hours free...an hour to do the workout, some time to cool off, time to shower...and some days I'm not having enough time to SLEEP, so working out got pushed to the side.

I quit tracking my meals, but I am still eating healthfully. However, my liquid intake...I've taken to drinking more often than I was due to work stress, and I've also been downing a few Zero Carb Zero Sugar Rockstars a week.

My sleep quality and amount has also decreased significantly. I've been waking up in dead panics, some nights not getting enough sleep at all, and so on. It's frustrating and makes me a cranky panda, but it's what I'm having to do for school.

I've been having a LOT of work problems, relationship problems, and I've been trying to keep up with school in the midst of it. It's hard sometimes, I'm not going to lie. Today was the first day I felt relief, because I have ONE test on Monday that I feel pretty good about right now (and I haven't even studied yet), then I don't have another test until a week and a half after that. I'm used to having 2-3 tests per WEEK. I also had been called for jury duty, they weren't going to let me off for school, but they finally posted who they're going to need next week and I'm completely off of jury duty (they said I could expect to be checking the website for 5-6 weeks...they said for me to not keep checking back). That is the BIGGEST weight off my shoulders right now.

School is going really well right now. I'm taking 7 classes, and I believe I have 2 Bs and 5 As. One of those Bs is an easy fix to bring it up to an A as well, so hopefully I can manage to pull off a 4.0 if I continue kicking it in gear. That's been my goal for the semester.  One of my classes is completely done on Thursday except for finishing a paper I'm writing for the class, and another class is completely done the first week of November. All of my lectures are done before Thanksgiving break, then I have a week and a half of labs and some finals. Some of my finals are actually done before I go out to do the lab portion. I keep telling myself if I can just do this stuff one week at a time, take all of this one week at a time, I'll be fine. And that's what I've been doing. I'm not looking ahead that I still have x number of tests, I'm looking at "Well, I have a test on Monday, a quiz on Wednesday, and 3 assignments due Friday"...beyond that, I have lectures, which I can postpone as need be (I'll often spend a few hours on Saturday knocking some out...sometimes I get ahead for the next week even!)

So that's an update on my life right now. I will be trying my hardest to post more often, but the last 3 weeks have been killer...last week I had 3 tests, 2 quizzes, and 2 assignments due! And that was just one week, not including all of my lectures and the study time I put in!