My job has been absolutely eating at me for...well, in the neighborhood of a year now. Now, don't get me wrong, I love what I do, and I love what I'm finishing school for...but the department that I'm in right now literally sucks the living daylights out of you. Like some little friends from Harry Potter...
So anyhow. It's...rough. It's been rough for awhile, but I haven't had the option of leaving, really. There weren't jobs available for my experience level, and quite honestly, they HAVE been working with me when I've needed time off for school and such. But over the past year, we've had two crap-tastic supervisors, a rotating door of employees, and work conditions that quite frankly, make me want to go back to minimum wage for better conditions. It honestly makes me a very negative person both in how I think, how I feel, how I feel like I treat people, etc. There's others in the department that feel the same way, so unfortunately, it isn't just me.
So, last weekend I got it in my head I wanted to be in a better mindset (this was partially from seeing all of Nikki Phillipi's various Youtubes, as well as some other people who just always seem to be bubbly, happy people). I deactivated my Facebook (which I reactivated solely for my Candy Crush addiction...and well, Facebook timeline scrolling is back). I've been trying to make my words less negative (and trying to keep negative comments to myself, though I know it's not exactly visible through this blog post), and when I start having even mean/nasty thoughts about people, I'm trying to replace the words with "rainbows and sunshine".
Yes, that's the image I got going through my head. I also have to subject myself to pulling up pictures of puppies and kittens and cute baby animals because really, who's going to be a bitch when staring at this little nugget?
That's right. NOT YOU.
Anyhow. I've been making a concentrated effort to be a nicer person and to try to let stuff roll off my back for the next few months, etc. It's HARD y'all. I'm not going to lie. Maybe I really am a bitch at heart, but the number of times I have to stop myself because I'm thinking mean thoughts is ridiculous.
Is anyone else going through a similar dilemma? I'm doing everything in my power to help myself with this, because I honestly FEEL better when I'm nicer. I mean, yeah, I've been doing some other health-related things (more to come on that later), but your mindset can do WONDERS for you.
I'm also trying to find some inspirational reads, whether it's books, websites, a Pinterest folder that has lots of uplifting quotes, etc. If you have any suggestions, PLEASE leave them in the comments or tweet me. I'm not necessarily looking for religious things, but just good quotes or even just relaxing pictures, etc.
My therapist suggested I read "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran. What she quoted at me sounded beautiful. It sounds relatively spiritual and probably uplifting.
ReplyDeleteGetting into a positive mindset is HARD WORK! I still have my negative moments and it was damn impossible for me to be positive a few months ago, pre-happy pills.
My tip would be to start easy on yourself. Just take notice when you're thinking something negative. Then, as you realize when you're being negative, ask yourself WHY you feel that way. Maybe it's because you're frustrated or tired! It's okay to be either of those things! Usually when you can pinpoint WHY you feel a certain way, the negativity dissipates a little.
Sometimes realizing that the negative emotion is based on something temporary, which is almost always the case, helps fuel positive thinking too.
Or you can view each negative thought as a challenge. You can decide to reframe your negative thoughts. When I'm dealing with a particularly challenging person, I try to view it as a lesson in patience or humility.
Then again, sometimes you just have to vent your frustration and be done with it. After you vent, let it goooooo.